What’s the Worst Thing About Babylon Anno Domini? The Weather!
August 18, 2008
But you know what the best thing is? The Hanging Gardens of PURE LASER.
Old trailer here, if you missed the Vin Diesel poncho action.
Vin Diesel’s ‘Babylon A.D.’ Poster [Ropes of Silicon]
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Paul W.S. Anderson Not Making ‘Spy Hunter’ Because He’s Reached Mankind’s Car Movie Zenith
August 18, 2008
Some time ago, it was announced that Paul W.S. Anderson would be directing an adaptation of the 1983 arcade game Spy Hunter. This was a bad idea for two main reasons: 1) Paul W.S. Anderson directed Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil. After Uwe Boll, he’s the guy most-likely responsible when you see a horrible movie based on a video game, and he is awful. 2) From what I remember, Spy Hunter’s gameplay was based entirely on driving a car, shooting other cars, and occasionally turning your car into a boat. That was also the entire plot, ranking it just above Tapper in terms of potential movie adaptability (because this could be better than Coyote Ugly).
Now, speaking to Latino Review, Anderson has hinted that he’s no longer on the project. Not because he realized it’s a terrible, terrible idea; it’s just that he’s already made the best car movie ever, past or future:
Latino Review: Does [Death Race, your upcoming movie with cars locked in a heated death race] prepare you to do another [car film] like Spy Hunter?
Anderson: I had some what fun making this movie and I firmly believe this is the best, most spectacular car action I’ve ever seen in a film, I don’t know if I’ll ever do another car movie after this, because I really feel like we pushed it to the max and the only other car movie I’ll do is maybe a sequel to this, knock on wood, if this movie does well enough to deserve that, I really think we’ve kind of raised the bar when it comes to car action….we’ve done everything practical, we’ve done spectacular stunts, we’ve kept it R rated, really hard, we’ve had the actors do a lot of their own driving, so you know, I think we’ve really maxed our car movie, so I think we’ve laid down a challenge to any one else, I think we’re now the movie to beat.
Sorry, Bullitt, you should have had more flame throwers on your cars.
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Simon Pegg ‘Bastard’ No Longer
August 18, 2008
On his official MySpace page, Simon Pegg has announced he’ll no longer be appearing in Inglorious Bastards, instead choosing to work on Paul with Superbad director Greg Mottola:
Much to our mutual disappointment, I won’t be appearing in QT’s forthcoming Inglorious Bastards due to insurmountable scheduling difficulties. We really tried to make it work but in the end, it just was not possible without severe ramifications elsewhere.
I’m trying to remain upbeat, as Tom Selleck said “Who the hell is Indiana Jones anyway?”
As Peggylover commented, “the movie just wouldn’t be Glorius without you!” So true. So true.
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Kim Kardashian Wrestles Carmen Electra for Tragically Unfunny Arousal
August 18, 2008
Sex sells, so it’s no surprise that, like Superhero Movie before it, Disaster Movie attempts to bring in viewers unaware of ways of procuring actual pornography (i.e., the internet) by promising a brief, cleavage-filled wrestling match. But what makes this clip astounding is how writer-director duo Friedberg and Seltzer are somehow able to make a cleavage-filled wrestling match so intensely frustrating. The secret? Beginning the catfight with a Wanted quote to give the illusion that humor and/or parody are involved (they aren’t).
The press release promised a “hilarious new clip from DISASTER MOVIE with a sexy shout out from Carmen Electra.” Was briefly referencing Twister the hilarious part? And was the aging sex symbol’s half-hearted shilling really the sexy part? I have the feeling whoever writes these descriptions has given up even more than I have.
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R-Rated ‘Death Race’ Trailer Has Effs, CS’ers, Blood
August 15, 2008
My favorite part is when Ian McShane says, “This should be interesting.” Because, no it shouldn’t.
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